Friday, October 29, 2010

Re-Opening Old Wounds

...



Having Robb break his back for the second time is an emotionally complex thing. In addition to everything we're experiencing as a result of this injury, we also are getting a forced re-acquaintance with all the turmoil of the first catastrophe.

When Robb was in the hospital the first time, we experienced an outpouring of support. And the minute he went home, it all ended. I'm not sure if people were sick of hearing about Robb's situation, and had moved on to the Next Thing. Whatever the cause, I was unprepared for how terrible it felt, when people stopped acting as if they cared.

This time, it's like a speeded-up version of that experience. Maybe people have Compassion Fatigue, maybe everyone is busy with other things. Maybe *merely* breaking one's back isn't as big a deal as being paralyzed. Maybe I'm just being overly sensitive.

I'll say this, not for myself, but for everyone else out there:

If you *think* someone is going through a tough time, and could use a little kindness, say something. Don't clam up, because you don't know quite what to say. Your silence is far more hurtful than your clumsiness. If you know someone who is in distress, do something. Even something small.

The smallest gesture is bigger than nothing at all.

13 comments:

Ryan said...

I'd click the hug button if there was one! =) I'm still rooting for you two!

-- Ryan

Rabid Quilter said...

Personally, I was conditioned early on to feel as though I was "in the way", always. That I could only make things worse if I was in the picture. If I thought I could make a positive difference in what you're going through, I'd do it in a split second. I'm thinking of you and Robb every day, wishing his pain will go away, hoping your feeling less stress. Ask and I'll do whatever you need.

Chris said...

I know this is an emotional time. Even though I live across the country from you and have never met you, I feel a connection because of letterboxing. Just know that people are thinking and praying for you all the time. My husband is amazed when I tell him about you all and we haven't even met! Maybe someday at a gathering we will see each other. Take care.
Beachcomber - Chris Bane

Sarcasmo said...

I'm betting that your friends have no idea what to say or how to help you guys cope with what has happened this time, and this news could have sent them reeling. They know how much you've been through, which itself is astonishing, and how you've managed to move on. Your life is amazing and you guys have enriched your lives is so many ways. Maybe they think you guys are superheroes. I hope things get better quickly. Diana -
Atlas Quest

Gina said...

Lisa and Robb,

Please know that if I were there I'd do ANYTHING, anything right now. I'm also terribly sorry about my silence; we're going through a bit of our own bad stretch here, which has kept me woefully behind in connecting to real humans. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for everything that's been happening this week with you two and wish like mad that there was something I could do to ease your stress and pain. Call anytime. I meant that. Any. Time.

xoxo
g

Debbie said...

Lisa and Robb,
I want you to know that I check and read your blog everyday. You are both in my prayers. I can't imagine the emotional pain not to mention the physical pain you are both in right now. I know we don't know each other very well, because we've only met a couple of times, but I think you two are some of the most courageous people I've ever met. If there is anything I can do for you please email me. I hope you have a good day today.

Anonymous said...

hugs!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I think what you said about saying something when you are in that should-I-or-should-I-not dilema is really true. It's one of those times to just blurt it out. So...don't know you but have been reading your blog for a while and certainly am sending good wishes your way from Oregon. I'm waiting for my Meyer lemon tree (now residing inside as we're frosty up here) to ripen up those fruit, so I can try your lemon marmalade recipe, which I plan to make for Christmas presents this year. Cheers to you both.

JoAnn

knitica said...

Thank you. I greatly fear the clumsiness. It's good to hear from someone who knows that it is better than silence.

Kaaren said...

*wishing I were not a country's span away*

Stefaneener said...

Tell me what to bring for dinner.

Anonymous said...

I have followed your blog for a long time. Sending healing thoughts your way!

Falonator

Anonymous said...

I'm with Ryan, I'd click the hug button if there was one! I follow your blog and am sending up prayers for strength, comfort and healing. Even people who you don't know in person are doing what they can to be there for you. =)

Wild Rose

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...