Wednesday, February 13, 2008

"Hey you kids! Don't go playing in traffic!"

Originally uploaded by unaesthetic
The traffic reporters in the Bay Area are remarkably thorough.

In addition to telling radio listeners about the locations of accidents and stalled cars, our local traffic reporters give updates on the foreign objects in the road.

This has amused and delighted us since we moved out here, and we keep a list on the refrigerator door. Here's just a tiny excerpt:

someone's garage door
a man in a gorilla suit, waving at motorists
a bathtub
a turkey
a bunch of metal
a bunch of garbage
ten baby ducklings
45,000 gallons of water
a big roll of tarp that is unrolling
a ladder
hot tar
a refrigerator box
live wires
metal pipes rolling around
a ladder
a momma duck and her baby ducklings
a ladder
a shovel
some wooden palettes
a sod clean up
an alligator
it isn't a christmas tree, it's a garbage can
plastic bottles
metal grates
cats off to the side of the road
the first ladder of the evening
a load of previously smashed cars
a fist-fight

You get the idea.

Last Saturday, Robb and I were driving on the freeway, at a particularly tricky merge area. One lane to our right, and slightly ahead of us was a vehicle pulling a very small U-Haul trailer. As we all drove along, we noticed that the door to the trailer was not secured, and was starting to swing open. You could see all the nearby drivers tense up.

But when the door swung open and revealed four kid goats, I'm not sure who looked more stunned, the motorists or the goats.

Thankfully, everyone nearby took it upon themselves to alert the goat-hauler, and he pulled over before his cargo could hop out into traffic.


The Gillespie Tribe said...

I have to laugh at your list of objects (who wouldn't?)... The reporters out here in Sacramento like to do the same thing, but I knew I had left the big city when one of the major commuter roads was shut down because cows were crossing the road! LOL! In Sacramento? I really was not expecting that when we first moved here...


Anonymous said...

Funny - we used to keep a list of "fight phrases" from the old Batman TV show... You know, "Zowee! Kapow! Whamo! etc..." Your traffic reports sound much more exciting!

Gad XX

Anonymous said...

You forgot to mention the Lime-Green Llama at the summit of Highway 17 a few months ago!

No relation, I assure you...


. . . Lisa and Robb . . . said...

How could I have forgotten about the dyed green alpaca or llama or whatever it was?

Do you suppose the traffic reporters were taking really effective hallucinogens that day? Or was someone pre-dying their luxury fiber in advance of a textile exhibit?

Gina said...

Wow. Honestly, I would have freaked when I say the goats behind the open trailer door -- it could have been really "BAAAAAAAA-D!" Badoom-ching.

O.k., o.k, I know goats bleat and don't "baaaa", but really, they can sound similar and if a few bad puns are all it takes to get me through V-Day, then who am I to cast self-directed aspersion?

Speaking of - Happy LOVE Day , you two!

You are paragons of models in the love category and I Love You both very very much!

Kisses and healthy red juicy things....


jackbear said...


Martha said...

Speaking of traffic....Neil saw a traffic report out in Long Island where they interviewed some Bauer women talking about the congestion. Any relation??


Anonymous said...

You guys are in California, the nation's hotbed for weirdness. I would expect no less than a traffic report detailing space aliens in a crashed ufo clogging up traffic on the way to the airport!


Gina (of Ginohn) said...

HI Lisa and Robb - have been catching up on your blog and just wanted to say things like - OMG hepatitis! I wish you a speedy recovery!
And - what wonderful wildlife and photos! Beautiful!
And - your job seems so neat! I am envious.
And - Congratulations on the return of tingling in your feet!
Love, Gina

Criquette said...

I made my way over here from the bird-nerd group on Ravelry. Your photos are so amazing, as is your writing. Thanks!


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