Saturday, April 01, 2006

A kitchen experiment

Try this one.

Go into the kitchen to cook a meal. Only, this time try a new technique. We'll call this the Robb Method.

Put one of your hands in your back pants pocket, to simulate the fact that Robb has to walk around the kitchen with a cane, and thus only has one hand "free." When you're standing still, only stand on one foot, to simulate Robb's lack of balance. You can bend from the waist as if you were bowing, but you're not permitted to twist your spine in any direction. Robb is wearing a full torso brace, after all. You are also not allowed to lift anything that weighs over five pounds. If you want to carry that pot full of water, you'll have to slide it across the counter. If you want to get anything out of the fridge, you'll have to drag a chair into the kitchen and retrieve your item from a seated position.

Now add three crazed food-obsessed pussycats to the mix. They're swarming around your ankles, and really want to jump up on the counter and lick your butter.

Now, remember, you can only cook with one hand. And stand on one foot when you're standing in one place.

Depending on what else you've done today, you may only have about fifteen minutes of standing tolerance, so plan your time in the kitchen carefully.

If you drop anything on the floor, it is pretty much staying there. Unless you want to go in the bedroom and get the walker, so that you can use the "reacher" tool. But remember that if you do decide to walk into the bedroom you have a speed limit. You're a slow walker.

Why are you doing this all by yourself? Oh, right. Your partner has gone back to work.

So? Did you find that challenging?

(And as a bonus question, can you tell us if your kitchen floor look as appallingly dirty as ours?)

1 comment:

Derek said...

After trying this, I, for one, can say that this sucks.

Our kitchen floor is wretched!

I am sorry, Robb. I know you'll find a way.

Can I take my hand out of my back pocket? It's oh so hard to type with one hand.


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