Monday, October 23, 2006

how to re-connect?


Robb and I have been working in the arts, and particularly in theater for quite a number if years. It is a rewarding field, but in some ways, it is a bit like migrant labor. We go where the jobs are. Robb and I met in Maryland, and over the years either one of both of us have lived in Alabama, Virginia, Pennsylvania, Texas, New York, Connecticut, and now California. Robb has also toured extensively as an actor, performing in Scotland, the Netherlands, and most of the United States.

We have lots of practice in packing up all our possessions and moving to a city where we know nobody at all. We also have gotten quite good at living apart from one another. When I ran the paint shop for the Glimmerglass Opera, I would spend three months living in rural New York State, and would only see Robb occasionally.

Amazingly, this has never put a great strain on our relationship. We both seem to relish the challenges of life in a new place, and new adventures.

But our here-today-and-gone-tomorrow lifestyle has made it difficult to make and maintain friendships.

When Robb was in the hospital, we had loads of visitors, but when he came home, this dropped off. This was partly due to the fact that the theater schedule can be a very hectic one, and probably partly due to the fact that people didn't want to intrude on our lives. I haven't exactly been inviting a lot of people over, either.

For so long, I found myself saying no to social activities, because I'm not sure that Robb could handle it, and, now that we are more able to participate in social activities, I'm not sure how to re-invent a social life. Robb and I are both big personalities, but ultimately shy people. And when we first got to California, we were so busy exploring that we sort of forgot to establish a circle of friends.

So what's a girl to do?

9 comments:

shiloh said...

Invite those fiends you haven't see for a while to come over or to an outing ?

Shiloh

Anonymous said...

Robb... start brewing some beer. Lisa... pick up the phone, girlfriend!

Bandaid - who is wishing I lived closer!

Anonymous said...

I can't believe your fashion photos online haven't caused a rush of people trying to get to know you better!

I volunteer with Habitat for Humanity once in a while, but that was only when I had free time, which you probably have none of. Of course, while re-reading over your blog, I remember you mentioning 2 guys outside your local courthouse who asked you for money so they could call their parole officer. You could always go back and strike up a conversation with those interesting people!

If you really want to meet new people, paint an image of the virgin mary outside on your apartment building wall, and then stand back and watch all the new faces show up, and charge them a fee. I have paid my rent doing that several times.

Annalisa

Anonymous said...

Maybe consider taking a class to meet people. I have met people in my yoga class that I enjoy and have considered taking a scrapbooking class or a cooking class or some sort of artsy type thing that I will benefit from even if I don't meet or make new friends. And you could take the class together even in order to meet other people.

moonduck

knitica said...

Man, I know what you mean. I think I become close to a few people over a span of years, and well, most of then live in other parts of the country right now! I'm really glad we can still connect through the wonders of technology over all that space. I've been making myself get out to spinning and knitting groups in order to start giving myself the opportunity to make friends who aren't co-workers or Chris's friends. (Not that he doesn't have nice friends.)

You are of course always welcome in Buffalo.

erica

Kath said...

You could make a plan with someone to go for beers and knitting... (or just beers if Robb wants to come and isn't into fiber!)
Kathy
Team T

Eclipse said...

I also like beers! I'm not a knitter, but I beer is often enough to keep me occupied.

Want to have dinner next week? What are you doing on Tuesday, or Wednesday? I'll come to Oakland!

Anonymous said...

I can't drink beer and knit at the same time- accidents happen.

signed,

old one-eye Annalisa

K said...

I hope that things have changed in all the years since you've written this entry. I'm sending warm thoughts and a great big hug your way from far away. (()) Before we moved across the country, we took a last vacation on the West coast to your area. We even looked for one of your letterboxes but had to abort the search due to restless natives. (Our small kiddos!) Afterwards I found your blog, and have been so touched reading it and getting to know you. Your poetic view of life has been such a blessing to me as we too are far away from friends and family. I think we would be great friends. Thanks for your insightful words.

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