Milestone
I was struck by a line I came across today. It's an unattributed quote which seems to be an self-help aphorism about life in general.
It goes, "Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional."
I was chewing this one over and it finally came to me that this is really the response I was always looking for when people asked about my condition. {This is Robb writing, by the way}
In a medical setting, I got used to being asked about my pain level and was trained to give an answer on a one to ten scale. I remember deliberately never allowing myself a "ten" or even a "nine," thinking, "It could be worse."
Here's the thing, though: once you get to seven or eight, is it really fair to call one or two or three "pain?"
Instead I just started calling my usual day-to-day flare ups, "discomfort." The overall message I wanted to convey was, "I'm fine."
Now, I feel like I can articulate this point so much better by saying:
Yes, I have all these things going on, but ... I'm not suffering.
To suffer is to let your situation overwhelm you. Whatever it is. I really do believe that we each have a choice about how we look at the world, ourselves, and the million details that make up our surroundings.
Even if we can't control all those details, at least we can find enough joy in some of them to hold back the darkness.
Incidentally, this blog post is a milestone. It is the 1,500th posting on How's Robb. That works out to about 20 posts per month for the last five and a half years! Lisa, who has produced about 99% of this, is amazingly prolific (and brilliant) and repeatedly astounds with her broad interests, astute observations and startling good photographic eye.
She is the reason this blog seems to be worth reading and the reason that, while I may hurt, I don't suffer.
It goes, "Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional."
I was chewing this one over and it finally came to me that this is really the response I was always looking for when people asked about my condition. {This is Robb writing, by the way}
In a medical setting, I got used to being asked about my pain level and was trained to give an answer on a one to ten scale. I remember deliberately never allowing myself a "ten" or even a "nine," thinking, "It could be worse."
Here's the thing, though: once you get to seven or eight, is it really fair to call one or two or three "pain?"
Instead I just started calling my usual day-to-day flare ups, "discomfort." The overall message I wanted to convey was, "I'm fine."
Now, I feel like I can articulate this point so much better by saying:
Yes, I have all these things going on, but ... I'm not suffering.
To suffer is to let your situation overwhelm you. Whatever it is. I really do believe that we each have a choice about how we look at the world, ourselves, and the million details that make up our surroundings.
Even if we can't control all those details, at least we can find enough joy in some of them to hold back the darkness.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Incidentally, this blog post is a milestone. It is the 1,500th posting on How's Robb. That works out to about 20 posts per month for the last five and a half years! Lisa, who has produced about 99% of this, is amazingly prolific (and brilliant) and repeatedly astounds with her broad interests, astute observations and startling good photographic eye.
She is the reason this blog seems to be worth reading and the reason that, while I may hurt, I don't suffer.
Comments
Rob, it is true that you attract what you put out there. If you put out suffering and pain, you attract more suffering and pain. You are fine!
~~Doublesaj & Old Blue~~
I have learned that numbers one thru 6 on the pain scale are "uncomfortable" and that 7 is where actual pain begins, you are very wise. The beginning of your post reminds me of a conversation I had with a mother at the Ronald McDonald House, she was always there when we would come in to cook dinner over the course of two years. I asked her how she managed to do it with both of her children in and out of the hospital away from home 6 or more months of the year? Her reply, "no one gave me a plan B."
I think this is the first, written by Rob post, that I have happened on here.
I congratulate you both on the milestones you have reached. Diana