Friday, August 21, 2009



Robb and I were over at the house again yesterday, and discovered that someone reached through the broken window in the laundry room and stole my beautiful telescoping pruning shears and a folding lawn chair. Bastards.

This puts a bit of a dent into our move-in-gradually plans.

We met one of our sets of next-door neighbors, two very nice women and their five-year-old daughter. They told us that the neighbor on the other side is a carnitas vendor, which explains (sort of) why the back yard always seems to smell like fried chicken.


Anonymous said...

I love fried chicken-

First thing you do- fix your window-

Change your locks- get a deadbolt- it keeps your insurance down. if someone can get in the house (shudder) they will run off with your faucets, etc. Dont wimp out on this- you will discover vast reserves of inner ownership power when you have your own house. I called the cops and the township (and filed reports) when I saw my idiot redneck neighbors dumping crap on my yard when they thought I was not at home. Suffice to say- They will never need a rectal exam in their life ever again since I verbally and legally tore a hole out of their butt the size of a Greyhound bus... They stay very quiet now and stay the hell away from me. It's all good. Not what I wanted in terms of neighborly relations, but good, relationship -wise.

Here's what you do about the thieving bastards-

Go to Lowes Immediately- Buy some plants- It doesnt matter if you like them- just get some cheap end of season plants- plant them out in front- make it look like you are moved in- Make it very visible-

Also put out a large bowl by the front or back doorstep and put dog - or cat- food in it. Also a water bowl- If someone comes sniffing around they dont know for sure if you have an inside or outside dog- either way, they may think it will start barking and take off-

Also put some large boxes outside on moving/recycling day (what ever it is) and make it look like you are already moved in- ( this is odd cause now they know you have stuff to steal). Get a timer and attach it to a lamp. USE it- I'm not kidding. Attach it to a radio during the day- leave it tuned to a local station that covers sports, and it will look like a guy is at home painting during the day or night. Move the lit lamp around during the day to different rooms.

Get some cheap security tags and put them on your windows- You can always take them off later.

Ask your neighbors to keep an eye on your place, tell them to call the cops if they see ANYTHING weird- neighbors love to do this for you, as it protects their place as well.

And then, make the aquanitance of the local cops and tell them what happened- have them cruise the neighborhood and look out for your place- I have done this before when I had a lot of stuff going on at my sisters place in Wyoming and the whole town knew I had a house full of expensive shit and I was not always there. Whoever is snooping around will not be afraid of you (at first) but they will be of the cops. Your taxes pay for them- so use them. Its possible this is happening to many neighbors- its also possible it IS one of your neighbors, so keep an open mind. It is also possible it is a local theif that has been doing home break ins, and the local sops LOVE to catch these guys, as their bosses and community tear them a new one if these guys go uncaught.

I also spray painted bright yellow spray paint on all my tools (in Detroit). If I see someone else with them, I will stab them with a rake.

I had a guy get up on our front porch ( not an casual or easy looky-loo) when the house was empty of people but full of tools- our local fix it guy saw them and nearly tore his head off- (hes a ex-marine). Tell your neighbors to have at it if they see the same thing. Their excuse was ( I'm just looking- which is bullshit). They were looking for something to steal, was more like it.

It's entirely possible this will never happen again-

Which is good- get curtains or something up, even pinning up some sheets on the windows and make it covered, also make sure you do the timer thing - its really, really smart. Park a car in the driveway sometimes and have Robb drive you around, or have someone you know park and extra car in your spot for a bit. Its not for long, and it will help considerably. (Mentally).

My own plans here involve making a scarecrow- and picking sweet corn.

Everything is going to be fine!


. . . Lisa and Robb . . . said...

Well...something must be in the air, because someone just stole the watermelon out of our weekly organic our apartment.

Can you imagine stealing a watermelon?


Anonymous said...

This may seem like small stuff, but file a police report. If nothing else, it helps the police track where and what the crime activity is and communicate it to your neighborhood.

Stealing produce...sheesh indeed!

Squirrel Whisperer


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...