Friday, April 03, 2009

How to "Blow Out" an Egg

...



I really feel horrible for not posting this earlier. I've been so tired at the end of the day, that I've completely slacked off.

Anyway, here's how to empty the contents out of an egg, whilst leaving the shell intact.

You will need
  • clean eggs (DO NOT SCRUB YOUR EGGS -- THIS WILL RESULT IN A MISERABLE EGG-DYEING EXPERIENCE. TRUST ME ON THIS ON. RINSE YOUR EGGS IN WATER IF YOU MUST, AND PAT DRY WITH A PAPER TOWEL, BUT DO NOT SCRUB.)
  • a pushpin, or an exacto knife
  • a bamboo skewer, or a darning needle, or a really, really skinny knitting needle
  • a bowl of some kind
  • the desire to eat an omelet
As carefully as you can, poke a hole in both ends of your eggshell. Smaller is better. Pick, pick. Chip, chip.

Jab your long and skinny (and clean) implement inside your egg. You are trying to break up the yolk without breaking the actual eggshell. Jab, jab. Poke, poke.

Seal your mouth over one of the two holes, lean over a bowl and blow. Really, really blow.

Blow until you think that your nose is going to explode, and your sinuses are going to come bursting out of your nostrils.

About this time, the egg will start oozing out of the hole in the shell. If this sort of thing grosses you out, you are going to be grossed out. Keep going until all of the gloppy eggy-ness has been blown into your bowl.

Rinse your egg out under the sink, blow out any excess moisture. Prop up your egg up, so that it can drain out onto paper towels.

DO NOT SCRUB YOUR EGGS. REALLY. DO NOT SCRUB. SCRUBBING IS BAD.

Repeat three or four times.

Reward yourself with a delicious omelet.

6 comments:

Martha said...

I think I scrubbed my eggs.

Anonymous said...

I recommend that you if you try
To scrub your eggs before you dye,
The scrubbed eggs you with dye anoint
On Easter morn will disappoint.
For Easter dyes that so amuse us
Need a hen's cloacal mucous.

Eeeyew....

Grumpy

george said...

an alternate to blowing an egg is to suck it out, find a separatory flask and coat the rim with vacuum grease or soft caulking compound. then hook up your hoover to the side connection. Pierce the shells as noted and turn on the vacuum. It has enough force to suck the yolk and white right ouyt

John and Diane said...

I think a much easier alternative to blowing out eggs with your mouth is to get one of those little squeezy bulb things like the ones that come in an ear wax removal kit. You can find these little squeezy bulbs in the baby section of the grocery store too. Just stick it at one hole on the egg and squeeze a bunch of times and the egg will squirt out of the hole at the other end. (Using a bamboo skewer or something to mix up the yolk inside first helps too.)
-D

Kristen said...

I know the "my sinuses are about to rupture and come spewing from my cranium" feeling. I tried the squeezy-bulb method a few years ago and it never had the chutzpah to make the egg so much as drip. Maybe I missed something.

I believe the best way to prepare to blow out eggs is to play the oboe, English horn, or similar small double-reeded instrument for at least four years so as to build up the lung capacity--and snarky sense of humor--necessary to not only blow out the egg, but enjoy the head rush you get the next time you take a full breath.

Anonymous said...

That description really blows. Heh heh.

I used to do the Ukranian Easter eggs years ago and put my stick and metal tube thing and wax block SOMEWHERE, and have never found it again. At this point I should probably find a place to buy another one, but have never been able to find a supplier. Can you buy this stuff online?

By the way, I used to suck, and not blow the eggs. Now my hair has a really nice sheen to it.

Annalisa

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...